searching for meaning in my life

And that is what I am searching for. I wrote in my last post that I was not sure exactly what it is that I am searching for and like it or not, I am still trying to find my place within it all......LIFE that is.

It always amazes me that I am still seeking for that elusive something that will give me the meaning that I am wanting to understand about me and this journey I am on. How I yearn to be simply satisfied each morning when I awake but there is always this part of me that is still NOT satisfied. It has been this way most of my life. Did I start out satisfied? I'm sure I must have been at one time but I still remember as a little girl sitting off on the sidelines watching others and sensing that for one reason or the other, I was not a part of it all. Anybody else feel that sensation? I'm sure there must be many of you out there too who have felt that you are somehow different from the others. There are so many of us like this.

BUT, with all this soul searching that I have been forced to do while sitting with my foot elevated, iced and resting.......BLEH.......I have finally come up with the next writing project.

I have decided to go back to the Inspirational writing that first got my attention all those years ago. Writing the erotica, while it might have been exciting and definitely got the blood pumping, just seemed to leave me in this wasteland of sensations and thoughts and it didn't leave me feeling good about myself at all. Sure it was good writing and I am proud of what I wrote but, at the end of the day, I felt like one of the characters that I was writing about and SHE didn't feel aligned with who I am in my heart and Soul.

So, now that I have THAT out of my system, I can start to focus on articles that will enlighten and encourage outers to step into their Higher aspects just as I am stepping more fully into mine. If any of you have any suggestions as to publications that you think I should consider submitting articles to, please send them my way. I would appreciate it. I have a number of publications in the Vancouver, Canada area, but I would like to send them off to other parts of the world too so feel free to let me in on where you would like to see me IN PRINT.....smile

We are now into the second half of this year......I can't believe it. I am choosing to believe that this next half will be the one where I do finally find the beauty and magic in my life that I am waiting to anchor into.

And on another note, that friend that I was very close to, who found out that his cancer has returned, has chosen NOT to allow me to assist with the healing work that I do. That hurt me probably more than anything else that he could have ever done to me. He of course doesn't get it but it has made it much easier to distance myself from him. Being a Healer and knowing the power that flows through me, it has been quite hard when I am not able to assist another. But, at the end of the day, it is his choice and I can now step back and allow him to follow the path that he has chosen. He is NOT my responsibility and I can now let it go. The Love can still flow to him but I need to realize that I can not force anyone to accept healing if that is not their choice. And I am at Peace with this.

It has been quite a time these past few days. But it feels good.

Have a wonderful day and be in Peace.

Namaste