Sunday thoughts

I am not going to start off with lamenting the time it has been since I last sat here to post. It just makes me feel guilty and I don't need to be doing that to myself.



The past week has been one where I am rethinking the life that I am currently living and where it is I see myself going. Have any of you been sitting immersed in your life lately and going "What the f**k is going on with me?" I know that I have. Even started putting out feelers regarding getting a REAL job which is not something that I had seen myself looking at for ages. It just seems that I am flailing around these days and not really moving forward. Not moving backwards either but going around in circles and ending up in the exact same place from where I started. It is not supposed to be like this.



Doing the family thing later today with my Father's 88th birthday celebration being held in my little sacred space. I love the family thing so it feels good. Plus Dad is always happy to be whisked away from his care centre. For him spending time with me and the grandkids is heaven and it makes me feel really good to be able to give him these happy times. Sure wasn't like that way back when but things change with age and we all seem to be morphing into something that almost resembles normalcy.



And therein lies the problem now that I think of it. I have never thought of my life as normal, even when I was doing the home and family gig in the suburbs. Always felt like I was pretending and now that I am sitting here in my home by the water, Life has become real for the first time in a very long time. That of course causes me some distress because I am flailing around trying to figure out what exactly IS normal for me.



I know that I am an excellent healer/intuitive but getting the clients has proven to be such a challenge this past year. Perhaps I just wasn't focussed enough on sending the proper energy out into the Universe. BINGO....that hit a nerve. I know I wasn't focussed enough and now that I know that, the only thing to do is refocus and move forward. Saying it is one thing but actually putting this thought into practice seems to challenge me most days.



Any thoughts from anyone out there in cyberspace??? I'd love to get your thoughts on me and mine.........thoughts that is.



Have a great day