Here I sit in my office.........the only safe place to be at the moment as I am having my apartment painted. What a mess? But then again, we have to get to those places of chaos to be able to get through the storm.........but oh how wonderful to get out of it...the storm that is.
But do we ever really get through the storm? Sometimes I wonder. He connected again but those of you who know of whom I speak, you are probably "well duh. did you really think he would just slink away?" There are parts of me that wish he would but it seems that we are not yet completely done. Oh the drama. Do I enjoy the drama? Must be a part of me that does or is it just that it has always been like this. Various bits of drama creeping into our daily lives.
And I know that I am NOT a drama queen.........no, really I am not. I seek a quiet place within and am always hopeful that it will extend into my outer world. Is that true? I would like to think so but then again, our thoughts rule our world so if there is still drama there, perhaps it is a necessary part of the journey. Do I consciously seek out the drama? Is there a part of me that is comfortable with it? It sure is easier for me to move through it now for sure but God/Goddess knows that I do seek a quiet place with a "little" excitement...but without drama. Is it possible I say again?
One of my friends feels it is the juice that I seek. You know? - that spark that ignites a deeper part of our psyches where we feel the life force flowing unhindered. I have to admit that the juice gives my life a jolt so if that is true, then perhaps it is not a quiet place that I seek but a place where the life force flows quicker with more sparks that the average human. Is that it? Is there a part of me that really does not want life to flow smoothly? Do I crave the juice? Scary!!
I guess I need to acknowledge that it is true that I like the ups and downs. I feel alive with them but is there not a way to have the ups and downs but in balance. Balance!! There is a word for the masses. How to stay balanced amidst the chaos that I seem to seek? and then again do I actually seek the chaos?
You guessed it. Lots of questions swirling around today. Think I 'll just go for a walk in the park and breathe.
smile.............
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