It is hump day

So it is the middle of the week and I am feeling like a new person. So nice to have someone in my life who thinks I am special and makes sure that I know that is how he feels. I have been on this quest for a partner for a long time and had started to feel like it would be a very long time before I was ready to embrace another relationship........even though I have been dealing with fear at opening to another. That last one got to me big time. And it is not like I haven't met others but I just never felt a connection that would sustain a relationship. But this one is different.

I had been saying that I just wanted someone "normal", whatever that is. But I had always also said that I needed a bit of an edge...someone who lives a relatively normal life but can step into another more exciting place with me. So doing all that a normal couple does but being able to open to a place that is also exciting and invigorating. And this man fills the shoes of what I had been desiring. He is funny, very fit, wise through all his years of living but still looking at the next phase of his life and wanting someone to share it with him. And he has picked me.

I had seen this man around the neighbourhood and always noticed him but had made a point of not connecting. I could tell that he is different with a very unique look. But then again, I know that I am a unique woman but I have had this belief that there would never be another that would really fill all the qualities that I had been seeking. I spoke with a woman onthe street the other day and she said that perhaps while I had been looking for someone I was not really open to receive and that is so true. So glad that I finally stopped and talked with him. So now am able to move into something real, something that will sustain both he and I. So, the relationship issue seems to be mvoing into a place of trust and joy and that is a very good thing.

Now, to get on with my work once again. Have been really slacking in that regard the past year. Having my little job at Curves gives me a purpose but it is not anywhere near what I am capable of accomplishing and the money is definitely not going to support me to any great degree. It is fun and fun is a good thing but I do need to get going with something more abundant.

Today feels like a Monday to me for some odd reason and it is already Wednesday. Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I am ready to embrace it whole-heartedly. Feels good...

Blessings

A new week dawns

Had a great weekend. And guess what? I met a new man and we are getting along great. Lots in common and his main reason for being is to have fun and be joyful at simply being alive. And he thinks I am very special which I know is the truth so am planning on stepping into a place of joy and love with a clear heart and head. He is an older guy who has been around the block a few times and is very healthy and LOVES to dance and for those of you who know me....dancing is next to breathing for me so woohoo.

Taking my car in for some work today so will be without transportation for a couple of days. I'll be getting my house and office organized which is a good thing and I'll be doing it with a smile on my face.

Today is a good day.

Blessing

feels like something is afoot

Today dawned with me stretching and realizing that I just had a good night's sleep for the first time in weeks. Had a good workout at the gym and am now preparing for my day. Lots going on and feel like moving forward in my life.

Had been stuck, sort of, in some sort of weird holding pattern for the past few months but know that I am ready to move beyond my previous limitations. Perhaps it has something to do with the ritual that I participated in on the Full Moon or the realization that I am now ready to let go of some of my old patterns but whatever it is, I do feel like a weight has been lifted...or perhaps I just shed it. Anyway, moving forward and that can only be a good thing.

Have a wonderful day doing whatever you choose to.

Blessings to one and all.

here and now

Just read my post from yesterday. I was in an obviously higher space when posting at that time.

Today has been a slow day but I did accomplish a few things. Banking, spending time with Dad and he was in a very good frame of mind. Looking much brigher with a huge smile. Thank God. It has been so hard lately seeing him frail and little. It makes me wonder what is in store for me as the years go by.

Spending time looking into the future doesn't seem like the way to go these days. Spending time in the now moment and paying attention to NOW instead of concerning myself with times that are not yet here. I realize it is important to think of the future and make plans but to be worried about what has not yet passed is a complete waste of time and energy. Makes it hard to see clearly where I am right now.

And in this now moment, I am feeling quiet and calm. Heading out to dinner with some new friends as it is a birthday celebration for one of them. So once again off to eat dinner out. Been doing that a lot lately but living here makes it such an easy thing to do with so many wonderful restaurants right outside my door. Life could be worse.....

Hope your day is going well and that your tomorrows are shining brightly just waiting for you to catch up.

Saying Yes to this moment.

Oh to be able to say YES to every moment that presents itself. Yes to the wonderful sunsets that take our breath away. Yes to the wonder of the wind as it howls outside our window on stormy days. Yes to the chance to express our self in the now moment from a place of quiet acceptance for each breath. For with each yes that we breathe into existence, we are freeing our self to simply trust that our decisions are the right ones for us in each moment. In doing so, we set our Spirits free.

In this moment, with this breath, you are a free spirit. And as a free spirit you are encouraged to take heed from the wind and breathe each moment into the newness of the next – never ending - always changing. It is the way of the spirit to move freely in whatever arena it finds itself. Is it easy? Some think not but it can be. It is your choice as to how free you choose to be.

Step into the depth of your being and nurture the sweet Soul who resides there. Embrace all of who you are and allow her/him to be perfect just as she/he is. Call to the young child that resides deep within your heart. Make her/him feel the deep power in the safety that resides within YOUR heart. Call to the youth who is just starting to flex her/his muscles, coming into a sense of her/his own power and allow her/him to be perfect just the way she/he was. Embrace all of your myriad senses and hold them close, safe in your heart and Soul.

With this powerful embrace feel the healing that rises to the surface time and time again. With each breath anchor into the healing that resides in your heart, always ready, always able to answer the questions that call to your Soul. Ever ready to dissolve any discordance that might come along with those old beliefs about what is right and true for you. Uncovering more with each breath…..

For this is what we came here to do. Dissolve old ways of being. Dissolve old beliefs and truths that no longer serve our higher purpose. Step into the Light of your Being - the light that lays at the core of you, in this very moment. Birth yourself into the purity and light that is your Soul.

You came forth from a burst of light and the light of the creator resides within YOU. It always has. It always will. Light your torch and carry your flame as you light the way to the future.

Say Yes, to this now moment and forge ahead secure in your own power, strength, beauty and spirit.

Weekend memories

WOW....I had a great weekend. Lots of drumming, dancing, laughing and eating.....thank God I exercise. Just got home from a drumming circle. Boy, do those guys ever play FAST but I managed to keep up. It was incredible. Going to drum with my drummer friend on Wednesday night so it will be fun to see if he notices if I have improved since the last time we drummed together.

Last night a friend and I went into the woods with drums, crystals, candles, incense and did a ritual ala US. We might even invite some other Goddesses along next time. It was such an amazing night last with the Full Moon and the Lunar Eclipse not that we could see the eclipse from Vancouver but the energies were pretty powerful. At one point however, I sat there and just sat immersed in the energy that we had conjured up and while I might have been right in the middle of it all, there was still a part of me that felt like SHE was just observing all that was going on.

That happens to me a lot. Sitting in the midst of something and still feeling apart from it. There was a time at the end of our time there when we put on some music and one of the songs made me stop and really listen.

There were the words.....

I'm a Soul without a mind. I'm a body without a heart. I'm missing every part.....

Part of me related to it even though at first I was thinking of other people and how those related words to them. That feeling like I am not connected to me at times persists. Sure would be nice to always feel connected to me.

At one point we picked a card from my friend's deck of cards and the Goddess that I picked was there to help me relate to, not only sense of my place within the world but my place within me and how I related to the earth and my place on it. I'll be working with that in the days to come.

I also got to share dinner with my kids and THAT was another wonderful part of it all.

We are all so very blessed.

May your week unfold in divine splendour.

Stressors and Wreck Beach

Feeling rather stressed this morning. The not sleeping thing is back with me this week. Hate that. Wake up numerous times during the night and then feel sluggish for the first few hours of my day until whatever reserves I have kick in. I realize that I have been stressed for most of my life but am starting the feel the effects of it now as I age..........argh........AGE.....not a good thought.

Heading to my Curves stint this morning and then meeting a friend at Wreck Beach. It is so beautiful there and I KNOW that once I head back up the hill, all the stress that I currently have in my little body will be gone.......or at least not so in my face. And if any of you feel like joining me, just look for two redheads......grin

Not lots to report this morning but wanting to at least post SOME thing.

Have a good one.

Seeking my OWN counsel

This posting is my posting from yesterday but the internet connection went down and I never did get around to sending it along. So here it is...

I was talking with someone the other day and realized that I write WAY more when I am experiencing some form of angst so beware……..angst is in full supply at this moment. I even resorted to going to the doctor for some “assistance” and that was not in the game plan at all.

I know that the transition of my Father is having a huge impact on my energy and today I had a brief meltdown. Luckily he lives right by a river with lots of trees so I just went outside and sat on a huge rock and sobbed. Hadn’t done that for a while. It was just frustration – plain and simple. I finished my little cry, went home, got changed, lathered myself with suntan goo and just lay in the sun for the rest of the afternoon.

And today I realized something about me that has definitely changed and I’m not sure if I like it or not.

In the past when I have seen the same people somewhere, like the gym or at a party or the beach, I would be right in there with everyone yacking it up. But for the past year or so I have found that I am shying away from speaking within groups. The same people are at the gym every Monday with a few different faces once in a while but, the entire time I have been there, the days that I chat with anyone are few and far between. And today I realized it is the same with the beach too.

I go to the same spot now. I think of it as MY spot and I share it with a number of other folks. I have never tried to connect with any of them. If they speak with me I always engage in conversation but for me to go and initiate it these days is hard. I have not been like this since I don’t know when. I even expressed concern to another friend. I am expressing concern here NOW.

I wonder if part of it has to do with the fact that as I sit writing this, I know that MANY people will know what is going on with me BUT I don’t engage many others in a face to face conversation about the whole nitty-gritty deal – deal being my life. I spend a whole lot more time in my head thinking about things than blabbing to everyone else, trying to engage them in my drama.

And that’s just it. I don’t want to try to bring others in to my sphere when I am not feeling comfortable in it myself – my Life that is. Yet at the same time, I find that I do need people contact. How to keep your own drama out of your interactions with others is the challenge.

So when I used to seek out others, I am finding that I am now seeking my own counsel and that can be very confusing to say the least. I am however going to go back to the beach this evening for a barbeque. One of the main characters that utilizes that beach is having a gathering tonight and he invited me. They call this particular beach his back yard. He has built firepits with grills into the rocks. So I guess now I WILL meet with some of the other regulars. I’ll report in tomorrow or whenever my internet connection comes back on.

Sunday morning thoughts

Feeling very good as I come into my day. Went dancing last night which is always a good experience. My body feels alive not that I feel dead but waking up after a night of dancing makes me feel good to be alive. I love dancing.......smile

As most of you know I am an Intuitive Reader and today I am participating in a Psychic Salon at this lovely little hotel down the street from me. If any of you are in the Vancouver area come on down and chat or even have a mini reading or a big one.....your choice.

As some of you are asking about my Father, he is doing o.k. Keeps falling but one of these days he will finally get it that his legs are just not working anymore for him. I sometimes wonder what I will be like when I get to his age but I am planning on being more accepting of my limitations when that time comes. Of course, I choose to believe that I will be strong right up until the end - still feeling vibrant regardless of what my mobility will be. Sure hope that the fingers still work so that I can write as the writing is what keeps me sane and grounded regardless of what is going on in real time.

The drumming is coming along famously. At the dance event last night, when I was not up shaking my little body I was using the table as a drum. That is something about drumming. You don't even need a drum to get the rythyms flying. A fellow came up to me last night after watching me do my thing on the dance floor and after he left I realized that he is one of the d.j's at another African dance event that I frequent. He told me that he recognized me from those other events but then again it is a bit hard NOT to notice a little redhead dancing like a big African woman.........grin. Like I said earlier I love to dance and it shows.....obviously he must appreciate it when he sees the participants on the dance floor grooving to his beat.

I wish for you all a day of fun and laughter as you love whatever comes your way.

Blessings

and another week disappears into the ethers

Hmmmmmmmmmm, I am being a BAD blogger. I had promised myself that I would write every day and alas, summer and the sun struck and well, I have been outside enjoying myself. Lots of freckles and I have real tan lines which is something for a redhead. But then again, I am unique so why wouldn't my entire being be unique as well.

Feeling very good physically and emotionally lately and I realize that when I am in a "state" or something is when I tend to write more. When I am "happy" I don't feel the need to be putting down my thoughts. That doesn't really make much sense when you think about it.

But then again, do we tend to focus on ourselves when things are going well. So much activity occurs when the sunshines and, for me at least, when it is sunny, I tend to feel better.

Being a writer and not writing seems rather redundant actually. Now that I am aware that I don't write much when I am in a good mood I shall have to figure out another way to summon the Muse. When I first started to write on line, I would ask myself a question and then allow "the Muse" to answer. Maybe I should reinstate that habit. We'll see how well I do but I AM going to be more diligent in posting - I promise......smile

This past weekend in Vancouver was one of the busiest ever. We have the Fireworks extravaganza that just finished on Saturday night so that was a great party. I have some friends who have a great rooftop deck right across from the beach so we were right on top of all those amazing colours and explosions of "art". Lots of fun.

Then it was also the Gay Pride weekend and we had a huge parade. According to whoever does this sort of thing, there were 500,000 people who watched it this year. It all ends with a BIG beach party so with the fireworks AND the Gay pride festivities, the place was hopping. I just parked the car and wandered all around my neighbourhood. Oh right. I live right in the midst of it all. So beach, sun, music, dancing and on and on and on. I love Vancouver in the summer.

So now the day is almost done and I am also making myself go back to that circle that I spoke about which I started attending in March. Again, because of all the fun I have been having, I have been neglecting that too. Not sure if it is good or bad but the circle is always there whether I choose to attend or not and tonight I am planning on going again. We'll see if anyone has had any breakthroughs and there are always new people popping in and out. It'll be good.

So now I am going to get some housecleaning done as that too has been let slide. Gotta love the sun.

Blessings.