Once again I have let the day turn into night and STILL, my office has not been cleaned. I don't quite understand my hesitancy to re-organize my office. Of course, just as I write this I realize it has EVERYTHING to do with my writing......or the lack of it. There is some huge blockage lurking deep inside that prevents me from just sitting down daily and writing. I mean...how hard can it be? And maybe that blockage isn't buried all that deep anyway...
I already know that I am a writer - or at least know that I am supposed to write - ahem,??? Anyway, I wonder why I do this to myself because I know that it has nothing to do with anyone or anything else.....just me.
I'm finding myself becoming more homemakery again these days. though Must be the man eh? Of course he is out of town again leaving me with all this turkey. I had thought he would be around to help me eat all the soup and turkey pies I am in the process of making. I did notice something interesting regarding eating that occurred for me the other day however.
I have a tradition of sorts where I like to make eggs benedict for breakfast on Christmas morning. I had thought Mr. Man would be breakfasting with me that morning but it did not pan out. So as the lunch hour approached and I had not yet eaten, I made eggs benedict JUST FOR ME and guess what? It might have even tasted better because I did this special thing JUST FOR ME. There is something to be said for doing things for you because you love YOU.
For me, preparing and sharing food with others is an act of love. All who become a part of my life get to share in this love with me when the urge hits to nourish others. So I guess I am saying that I am starting to nourish myself.
In the past when I had anticipated something happening and then it didn't, it would really affect me and my day would have been ruined. But since taking that retreat I have to admit, my attitude towards many things has changed considerably.....even eating special things on my own.
So I guess it is time to change my attitude surrounding cleaning the office and getting down to the task of writing..................God/Goddess almighty, it has now been years that I have been talking about doing this. Not about cleaning my office.............THAT was a scary thought!!! The cleaning of the office is still in the month stage...........weak little grin.........
But it does give me pause here. Why is it that I don't write anymore? I know that there are words sitting patiently waiting for their chance to do their thing. Yeah, if for no other reason, I have to do it for the words.............
Well, at least now today I can say I wrote something. In fact, there is no reason why I don't just sit here at the same time daily and write something....anything. Priming the well of creativity with the simple act of putting words to paper. A musician does his warmup prior to performing and a writer needs to warm up as well by just letting the thoughts have a free form.
As I sit here I realize that by simply putting these thoughts down in the blog, my mind seems to unclog and I can breathe easier. I think that instead of pondering WHY I don't write, I'll just decide to write and be done with it.
Anyway, turkey soup calls to me so I bid you adieu............office still isn't cleaned but I did talk about it and I have room to write in front of me
HEY, it's a start.....
Have a good one.
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