Every day I pick a few cards from my divination decks and sometimes they really speak to me. Not that they don’t always have some sort of divine message for me but there are days when the message is clearer than others and today is one of those days.
I have been flailing around trying to find a steady ground upon which to anchor but like it or not, this is a time in my life when challenges are occurring on all fronts. Funnily enough though the first card I pulled talked about female power and while I can understand the power inherent in ME, there just doesn’t seem to be any forward motion moving to the next stage. And what is the next stage? I have not a clue.
It appears that my relationship to me is also stagnant. At times I feel like I am simply floating through my days in a haze. How did I get to this place in my life? Who is this woman that inhabits this body? Why is she not taking the next step towards a life full of love and joy and ultimate creation on all levels? And as I sit writing this I see that I am separating myself from me, as if the woman I am talking about is another being all together.
On talking with other friends of mine, it appears that many of us are going through the same turmoil. Attempting to move forward working with our own unique gifts yet still finding that the veils are becoming thicker, if that is possible. Opening up to newness in our lives yet somehow not receiving all that is possible. I write and I write and still nothing concrete occurs.
And back to relationships…..I am a very social being and able to resonate with many different personalities. In the past when there was a change coming, it seemed that the perfect option presented itself to me at the perfect time but not now. So very frustrating.
Am I holding on to old ways of being while not being aware of this? Are the shadow aspects of my Soul standing in the way of my forward motion? I have not a clue. I used to feel guilty about a lot of the choices that I made in the past but being as how I know everything happens for a reason, I have let them go. Or have I? Am I still being affected by all the discordance that occurred in the past? It appears so.
So now here I sit. The sun is streaming in through the window and the warmth is welcoming. I think I will simply go out for a walk in mother nature and allow her to comfort me. There are no tears and no sadness – just an uncomfortable feeling that all is not as it appears.
Sigh. I truly hope that your day is going well for you and that your own relationship with Self is sustaining you.
Blessings
Monday, March 31, 2008
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