Twin Flames and being present

Had a late night phone call which brought me out of a sleep zone that I must have just entered. Upon waking this morning I realized that I must not have come completely awake as I remembered thinking that it was Monday morning. And it certainly was not. It was Saturday night and on reflecting back to the conversation I realized that it was not exactly 'real".

I mean I was there and it was me talking but I was not fully present and that is what this little discourse is all about. Being fully present in every moment.....not back in the past and not flinging ourselves out into the future but remaining aware and "awake" to each and every moment that we inhabit. And I now realize that a lot of my life has been in this "no wake" zone, going through the motions, appearing to be present...but not. I look like I am here and to the casual observer I am, but there is a part of me that is elsewhere. How on earth I have managed to manouever through this jungle that is life in 3d amazes me. And yet, here I am.

I also have come to some pretty clear understandings as to why I keep bringing certain energies into my life and THIS is a huge one. I won't go into all the details here but suffice to say, I understand what it is that I have been unconsciously projecting OUT and now it is time to be conscious so that I am fully and completely aware of what it is that I am sending out into the world.

The work thing seems to be coming into alignment finally and that is a huge thing. All aspects of my creative energies are not being addressed and I will be able to utilize all of them in a myriad of ways and for this I am truly grateful. Opening the floodgates to more good is a wonderful thing and to realize that it has been through my opening and projecting that all of this "good" is coming into my reality at this time.

Now to be able to get clear and aligned with bringing in the people with whom I wish to spend my free time will be a more conscious focus in the days and weeks to come. I'll share a little something here and while I know that it will sound rather hocus pocus to some of you, I know that is played a big part in bringing in "that" man that I am still detaching from......and I have to admit that it is not an easy task. I feel so much love still in my heart and soul for him, regardless of all the hurt that occurred during our time together. I still feel this urge to share all the good that is happening and I know why this is happening. Boy oh boy, the things that we do to ourselves in this journey. Anyway, I digress.

Back a couple of years ago (actually more now that I think about it) I decided that I would do a ritual to bring in my Twin Flame....that divine partnership that would align me and him with our higher purpose. It was a powerful ritual and I am NOT one to do this sort of thing so it was a new experience for me. Anyway, the next day I looked at myself in the mirror and affirmed that I was now ready for him to come to me and POOF...........this amazing energy flowed to and through my body and I heard him say "I'm coming". That was it. Nothing else and I burst into tears. Shaking myself out of this energy, I just thought "oh oh.......something just happened".

A couple of weeks later I met "him" and that same energy that I had felt the morning after the ritual ran between the two of us. He was blown away and when I explained what I had done, he went "cool" and hence our relationship started. Now this is where it gets dicey.

You see, when two people come together in a divine partnership, they both have to be in alignment with their own soul's purpose and be ready to embrace this unique relationship. If both parties are in alignment, their union can be one of immense love and will be the catalyst for a beautiful LIGHT to shine and assist many many others. If, however, they are NOT fully aligned it can be the catalyst for a very serious FIRE to blaze through their lives causing them to go out in a blazing crash and burn type of fire. And that is what almost happened.

We were not good for each other because we both had different realities that we were working on. I, as most of you know, work as a healer and intuitive and have only the best interests of everyone as the basis for all that I do. He, on the other hand, is not in the same head nor heart space. I am not going to say he is wrong and I am right but at the end of the day, we will never be in the space that I had envisioned when I did the initial ritual and sent my heartfelt request out into the universe. I am trying to reverse it but there is nothing I can do. We are linked on a Deep Soul level and I jsut have to tap into all the strength that courses through me to be able to move on and perhaps come into alignment with another who IS in the same heart and head space. I have faith but there are times when that faith is rather dim like this morning as I sit here typing away.

But at the end of the day, I do understand that we managed to find each other and both of us did get a lot out of the time that we spent together. He is more than willing to continue on as it has been but I can no longer do so. It is not a place that I can go again and I know this to be true. Sure wish he read this blog but I know that he doesn't. And that is another reason that I know he is not the one for me. If he was aligned with all that I am, he would have an interest in what goes on in my head and heart. Sigh............and on and on and on she goes.

So the sun is attempting to shine and hopefully the snow will stay away today (yes we have had snow this week.....weird). Heading out to have lunch with the kids and my Dad and then facilitating a Full Moon meditation circle here tonight. AND that will be wonderful.

Sending blessings for a joy filled day to each and every one of you.