emotions and control

I was talking with a friend at the gym this morning and he was really getting me to share what is happening within my heart concerning you know who. I kept saying I don't want to go there right now as I get too emotional and he said "so get emotional". I have spoken with him a lot over the year that I have known him but he has NEVER opened up to me but here he was trying to get me to go there. Interesting. I know he is attracted to me but he has never asked me out and I always wonder why not. But then again, he is friendly with ALL the women so perhaps he is just one of those nice guys but still, he never goes out with anyone. Something there for sure and I know he is not gay if you are wondering that. Anyway, blah blah blah

It is Monday so a new week is upon us all. I have a number of different things to delve into but am finding myself feeling out of sorts this morning. The Mother's Day dinner thing is still nudging me to look at things. The daughter dearest did another one of her "digs"....subtly as usual but I am wondering if she will ever let it go and just be nice to me for a steady period of time. The dinner that she prepared was incredible and it shocked me at how well she prepared and presented it to everyone. She was still stand offish with me again after the past few times when I thought we had moved beyond our past stuff. But here she was again, making me know that for one reason or another she is still pissed. And the Mother's Day card that I received from her wasn't even a card from a daughter to her mother.....it said for someone special but I didn't feel special. She also made a snide comment in it about me "FINALLY" taking charge of my life. It just hurts that she is the way she is with me and I can't do anything about it at all. I guess that is the lesson. I just have to accept things the way they are and stop trying to make it something else.

Like the "guy" thing. I keep thinking that it will be something other than what it is and then of course, he does move in new directions which keeps me thinking it WILL be something else but each and every time it falls flat again. So what is it that keeps me in the energy of hope for he and I.

Interesting that both my daughter and this confusing man are Geminis. they both pull me in and then spit me out. Something there to consider for sure.

Anyway, I am boring this morning so I will just get on with the rest of my day and hope to step into a place of power at some point.

But at least I did write so it is already a good day.

Blessings to you all.