The end.......

I am slightly embarassed at how this blog of mine has evolved over the past year or so. Originally it was supposed to be where I posted lovely inspirational messages for others. I love to do that BUT unfortunately it has morphed into some sort of boo hoo and waaa thing where I am constantly lamenting the state of my love life. But I have to finish this so here goes.

Had a couple of conversations with him over the past couple of days and had decided to have him come over for a visit and see if we could work it out. But lucky for me I am being protected by spirit in the guise of his other woman. Just as I was getting into the bath last night the phone rang and it was her. She was devastated and for some odd reason she is turning to me. Go figure.

Anyway, supposedly he had been calling her repeatedly over the past few days pleading with her to take him back. She asked if I would like to hear some of these messages and I said...bring it on. I hung up the phone and as it kept ringing I just let it go to the answering machine since I figured it was her leaving copies of his messages. And some of them were but there were also a couple from him because he had decided to come over and "surprise" me. I called him back and told him to come in.

As I walked him into my home, I asked him if he minded if I checked my messages because, as I said, the phone kept ringing while I was in the bath. So there I sat listening to his other woman and she would go "O.K. here is message #one" and the again "O.K. here is message #two" and all the while he was sitting there across from me watching.

How come you are smiling? he asked. I said "Hey, does this sound familiar" as I related word for word the most recent message I was listening to. I could see him trying to figure out a way to make this about me but he was tongue tied.

So, you love her and want to be with her and you are going to move back to Edmonton. Well go right ahead I said. And then he said "Do you have any idea how much she is worth?"

HUH................that poor woman.

Well then, I guess you had better get going then. I stood up and showed him to the door.

She called later and was so upset. At least I was only 6 months into it. She spent the last 6 years of her life loving this creep and also giving him lots of money. How do men like this happen?

I, of course, am trying to figure him out knowing that it is not about him. It is about me and how I manage to attract these sociopaths.

Some say it is because I have a big heart and a bigger light. I am a healer and want to help others. Perhaps it is now time for me to allow in someone who wants to help me.......or at least love me for me. I don't seem to be doing a very good job of it though. Sigh.

It has made me realize that I need to continue doing my own work and that being said, I am now going to start hosting weekly meditation circles in my place again and THAT is a good start.

Heading out to an employment counsellor today to get set up for a course for people re-entering the work force. Something positive there and I know that I am moving forward.

Life sure has it shares of ups and downs. I just think it would be nice to be moving slowing forward with a minimum of jigs and jags for once. I think it would be a good thing if I could settle into a more relaxed state and stop looking for that juice that gets me in trouble every time.

Blessings to one and all.