Mid week check in

Was moving along at a great clip, feeling very focussed and positive about the future and then yesterday, the momentum slowed down. Got a call from one place that seems to be all about red tape, boards and "the norm"........not a good place for me.

Had been told by someone "in the know" that when you want to get your work out into the world, it is best to start in your neighbourhood - somewhere where you are at home - so, taking that into consideration, I approached the local Seniors networking place a few blocks from home. Had a GREAT meeting with the programmer and she was all excited about my coming in to offer meditation circles for the Seniors AND to do a day a week offering mini healing sessions. Now, it turns out that all proposals that come into this space have to go through a BOARD approval process. WHAT!!! The programmer is new and was shocked that she couldn't just set up a time and let me get at it. So while a minor glitch has occurred, she still is looking at ways to get me in there to get my name out more into the community.

Turns out that since they already have someone else offering Meditation in the other community centres in the area, they won't let me offer my brand of circles because, as they say, it is not fair to offer competition to the people who have been there previous to my coming on to the scene. AND this person doesn't even offer it to the Seniors PLUS they say I have to have insurance............WHAT!!! I say again.

What kind of insurance does a meditation facilitator get? Insurance saying that you promise that they won't get TOO enlightened? Frustrating to say the least. So that affected me and not in a great way. But didn't initially realize that it had.

Last night was my regular meditation circle offering in my home and no one showed up. I knew earlier in the day that the energies were not aligned but still, when the time came and went I did feel let down. No expectations right! I do try but sometimes this little human in me succumbs to feelings of lack. I think that is what was showing up or perhaps it was a feeling that what I offer is not good enough and as soon as I write that, I know that that is just the little me whining.

I realize that sometimes what it is that I wish to take out into the world will take some time to get rolling. I am ready willing and able right now though and just wish it would all happen quicker.

I did have a wonderful session with a new client yesterday. Amazing energy with a VERY beautiful Soul. Hope to do more with him in the future. He had never worked with someone like me but he felt that Spirit had led him to me so I'll just be patient and see what comes down the road. I do love to do my healing work. It makes me so aware of ME and my place in the world. Now just need to do more of it.

In case you didn't know it, I do remote healing sessions too for any of you who might want to check that out. Incredibly powerful as we are all interconnected so let me know if you want some more information about this aspect of the work.

So I've now been up since 5:30 a.m. and the gym should be open so I'm going to go and sweat and get on with my day.

Blessings to you all.

Perfect timing and the call of Destiny

and it has been busy this past few days. I am so happy to have made this transition into a place where I am focussed on what it is that I am putting out there and, more importantly on what I am resonating with within.

The response has been amazingly positive when I have put my proposal to various folks around town. I KNOW how important a regular meditation practice is and to be offering it into the Seniors is a perfect fit. the timing seems to be in alignment with this shift within more and more communities, or perhaps I should say demographics. And I am ready, willing and more than able to provide this service. Feels good.

Heading over to meet with one of these prospects of mine and I spent a part of last night envisioning where in the facility I would like to conduct these, the space and the feel of it all. I'm ready.

Weather is weird. One moment it is hot and sunny and then a cold wave will hit and it whacks me big time. I keep getting these little mini headaches, just enough to make me feel all cloggy..it tends to slow me down. I don't remember being so affected by weather patterns as I am these days. Could it be menopause or perhaps a shifting into a different level of awareness? Probably a bit of the two methinks.

There has also been a change in how I am feeling when I am out in public these days too. Can't quite put my finger on it but perhaps a more detached sense of the importance of others in my life. I think that I used to be always "watching" to see if anyone noticed me....don't quite know what that was about either. Now, however, I am finding myself smiling just because and am not as aware of everyone else anymore.

When I was taking public transit to the course I did notice that NO ONE made eye contact, let alone lifted their eyes from their laps (if sitting) or their feet. Everyone is their own little world. And I guess that is what we are meant to be doing through these changing times.

I am sensing that we are to become immersed in our own little world and have it be enough. This is not to say that we will detach completely from others.....hey we all need companionship in whatever form it appears.....but we will realized the importance of our own companionship with our Self. That is something that I have had issues with my entire life. Feeling like I needed to have others in my space, physically, so that when I was alone, it felt like something was missing. And at the end of the day it turned out to be me.

I have come to this realization a couple of other times in my life but had always fallen into the old patterns that were familiar even though they didn't work......mainly because I was looking for others to fulfill some piece of me that I thought was empty. It is different this time.

I am heeding my own counsel. I am allowing the solitude to envelop me in its loving embrace. More importantly - I am moving forward in my life like I have not done for a VERY VERY VERY long time. Finding the niche that will welcome me in work wise is also very important. I had initially thought that I would get a "job" but now realize that I will take me to a number of different places to share all that I have to give. There will be variety, lots of people contact and a chance to make a very real difference in the lives of some souls who are feeling lost and alone out in their world.

Time to get this show on the road. Destiny calls.............

Happy Earth Day

Another weekend looms and there appear to be a lot of different activities around the city with regards to Earth Day. Might head out to one of these and perhaps bang on the drum once more. Haven't been doing that much these past few months, probably because I had been involved with someone so spent more time just hanging out that anything else. But now, I am open to getting out there and being with me on a more regular basis.

Working on the work aspect more diligently too which feels good. Have a meeting with someone from one of the more upscale retirement communities in the area so hoping that that manifests into work on one or more levels. A step in the right direction for sure so feeling quite positive about the possibilities.

Have reconnected with some people that I had detached from and so know that much is looming on the horizon. Again a step in the right direction.

Not much to report actually but wanted to put something here and will write more later.

Easter Sunday musings

Happy Easter everyone. As I wrote that I realized, for most people, Easter is simply another reason to eat way too much food AND eat chocolate.

When I was a child I do remember going to Easter Sunday services at church and loving the celebration and practice that was associated with it. Today however, it is simply another rainy day and quite cold to boot so not feeling all that celebratory. I am going to be spending it with my soon to be "family" as my son is getting married in September to a wonderful Chilean woman who has this amazing, boisterous and MAJOR celebratory family. It will be fun for sure. Lots of music, dancing and singing.......her Father has an amazing voice and supposedly, his brother and an uncle are very well known singers in South America. He regales us with this amazing stories of his uncle who, as it turns out partied with the likes of Sammy Davis, Jr., Frank Sinantra and Dean Martin...........must have been an interesting time. But, for today, we will make do with Alejandro's booming voice as he serenades us for the afternoon.

But for now, I am heading over to pick up Dear Old Dad to take him along to this celebration....I am choosing to think of it as a celebration of LIFE........young, old and everything in between.

Blessings

Here's to weekends filled with Love and Joy

They have been predicting rain for today but I just came back from the beach because it was just too warm to be there in my jeans and boots. The sky is a beautiful clear vibrant blue and the sun is wonderfully warm.

Had my first meeting with the group after the ending of the official portion of the course. Felt so very powerful and positive when sharing today and realize that I am really ready to get going. Lots of assistance is available and some of my new friends are interested in coming to the meditation circles so that feels wonderful too. I notice that the past few days the word "wonderful" keeps cropping up.

FULL OF WONDER...........what a great state to be in. Not full of angst which is something that has been resonating for so very long. I felt like I had so much to share today with the others in the group and noticed that my sense of optimism is on high beam and I was sharing this sense of positivity with them all. My mind is clear and I have so much to offer.

Had my second meeting with one of the facilitators after class today and he said that I seemed to be moving forward and really getting things in order so our meeting didn't take very long. A 45 minute block of time had been allotted but he said that that it was obviously not necessary to spend much time here as I had so much ready to move forward with already. It was apparent to him that there didn't seem to be anything else that needed to be added to my own schedule for the next week or so. Cool......on a number of levels.

Then went for a walk with a friend of mine who is so very confused. Ahhh, relationships or perhaps I should say the "potential" for a relationship has surfaced over the past few months but, and yes there is a but, this gentleman, who looks like the perfect partner for her, is already married AND still involved with and living in relationship with another woman. Why do these things present themself to not only her but a number of other women I know at this time?

Is there some inherent flaw in humans in this city that makes them incapable of being monogamous? It sure is apparent in the people in my age group (loosely from 40 to 60 years old) because it keeps cropping up for so many. One good thing that has come out of this - at least for me - is that I can not go into something like this. They keep coming to me too, these men who are not available, nor capable it seems of being available to simply have one love in their lives and it makes me pause.

I am sitting in a complete state of freedom now that I have this life work of mine to focus on. In being able to counsel my friends, I am coming into a much more powerful sense of my own self with regards to relationships. This relationship that I am developing with ME at this time in my life is and, here is that word again...wonderful. I don't feel the need to be with someone right now and THAT is huge.

I am going to an Easter potluck celebration with my son's fiance's family - and I guess now MY family too - and I am so excited because there will be young children there. I called to ask my son's fiance's sister and brother-in-law if I could bring some Easter chocolates to their beautiful young boys and the answer was yes. Oh goodie I said because they are very strict with "junk" food for the boys but, as Patrick said, there are special occasions and this is one of them. We are going to hide a bunch of Easter treats all over the yard and have an Easter egg hunt........woohoo. Let the fun begin. And that is exactly what I am working with too. A sense of FUN and JOY at simply being alive and able to enjoy that.

I no longer feel the need to have to have someone special in my life in order for me enjoy my life. I have a lot of people in my life who ARE already a special part of me and my world and that sustains me. Plus, dear old Dad gets to participate too and he will be thrilled.

So enjoy your weekend and let it be filled with Love and Joy because that is what I wish for each and every one of you.

Namaste

The real work now begins

The past couple of days here have been incredibly beautiful. The sun is shining, the temperature has risen and I can even go out in just a t-shirt without having to worry about the cold. Ah, Spring has arrived.

My head is a tad clogged up though. Have had a low grade headache and feeling like I am floating. Been doing my research about potential areas within which to share my gifts and skills and getting ready to send out introductory letters to those organizations that I feel would be a good fit. Still looking at the seniors sector as I feel that is where my skills will be most appreciated. The need to give for me seems to be the biggest factor in getting out there again. I do admit, however, to needing support for me as well during this time of transition.

I used to say I was going through a "shift" but it has become more than that of late. A deeper transition is occurring within and that is causing a bit of angst. Reaching out to others for assistance for me is something that I have always had a hard time doing but this time I know that it is a necessary part of my own personal transition. Wanting to help others at the same time as I am seeking assistance for myself keeps circulating and it is a different place for me.

One very big piece of the puzzle is coming together in that I have managed to heal some wounds with my children and that is wonderful. This has been a hard time as I was actually thinking that it wasn't going to come about but Spirit has been weaving its magic and life is coming together in that end. So one aspect of my life is going through a huge healing.

When reading over my last post I have to remember that image of myself reaching to the stars and knowing that I am connecting to a part of me that has been searching for so long. A new expanded being is ready to step up to the podium and share all that I have learned thus far.

I wish you a wonderful day as you too reach for your own stars.

Blessings and much love abounds....

Transitions

This past week, I finished a 3 week course called Transitions and to say it has altered my perception of MY life would be an understatement. One of the key points that came out of it was that we are all products of our beliefs, our upbringing, and our sense of our self. So many people have such a limited awareness of all that they are, all that they have been and, more importantly, all that they can be. We hold so much inside, for fear of what will emerge, that we hold ourselves back from experiencing all that we so dearly wish to have in our life. Through all the revelations of each of the Souls in the class, this I now know to be true.

It is important that we remember not to bottle up our emotions, and that we allow ourselves to receive any support that is offered to us. No-one travels through life unscathed. Emotional pain is one of the unpleasant facts of life. Yet it can also be seen as a gift as long as it is recognized and released and not held on to.

Mourning for what has been lost pierces our heart and opens us up to new and deeper dimensions of feeling. The process brings about transformation through an expansion of awareness. The most sympathetic and empathetic people are those who have the courage and strength to face, acknowledge and release their own suffering. Each of our personal experiences have taught us much.

Could it now be time to recognise this and to release the old with compassion, thereby creating the space in your life for new and positive energy to come in? I, for one, believe this to be true.

I find that throughout last night and continuing on throughout my day today, I have felt as if a blanket of acceptance has been gently placed upon me for all that I have gone through and all that I am currently experiencing. My wish today is that we settle into a place of compassion for ourselves and for all those who are also working through their own brand of transition.

It has been a powerful 24 hours for me. Oh and that other friend who was also considering moving....YUP....she is also leaving the downtown core on April 15th. But you know what, it just doesn't matter now. I am in a place where I am very ready to meet and embrace all that is new and all that is waiting for me.

Last night I participated in another meditation circle in a beautiful setting on the water. I saw myself standing on a very high precipice; arms outstretched, wrapped in a beautiful diaphanous cloak of pure white light. The sense of pure divinity and a brand new being emerging was very present.

I know that I feel much lighter today and the feeling that it is all DIVINE permeates my Soul. I sigh a breath of relief. I am here........aaahhhhhhhhhhh