still reeling.........

What can I say? There is a part of me that wants to listen to him and try to get past what just went down but I feel dirty. And, of course, I am beating myself up for even bringing him into my life in the first place.

The law of attraction says that we get what we put out. So what am I putting out that keeps bringing in men who are cheaters and untrustworthy? Really? Does anyone have any insight to this one?

I am a bright vibrant woman who is healthy, happy and full of fun. I love with all my heart and yet it seems that I attract people who are users. Is there some errant gene that is out of whack or something? It's funny but people always tell me how beautiful I am, how young I look, how sexy I am..............but what about what is within me.

I give and give and give to others and perhaps that is one of the problems. I am so used to giving that I forget to notice that I may not be receiving anywhere near what I am sending out, leaving me vulnerable to these love predators. That is something to think about I guess.

What is it about me that brings these men into my life? Is it that somewhere deep down I really don't want a loving, caring, respectful relationship? Do I really believe that this crap that I keep attracting is the right fit for me? It is a scary thought.

I do know that when I decided to break free of that last man I told myself that it would be a long time before I let in someone else. I wanted to be sure that the next relationship would be the ONE. Boy did I mess that one up. Am I so weak that I will let these men come in and use me and think that I am being loved?

Sigh, all these thoughts rushing around in my head. Not feeling very well this morning.