Distancing oneself from family

First off, I wish to thank those of you who sent me your insights as to my current, and ongoing, challenge with my son. It makes me feel so much better knowing I am not alone in this predicament, that of mothers and sons hitting snags.

Interestingly enough, within the midst of my pain I completely forgot that a few women that I already know have had exactly the same things happen to them with their sons - those sons with whom they had a very strong relationship, prior to their marriages. So while I know that this happens to a lot of us mothers, it is still a shock to have it happening to me.

While at the gym this morning, it was a man who said something to me that I of course already knew but had simply misplaced in my consciousness.

I mentioned that I had had similar experiences with both my father, my grandfather, my brother and of course, now my son. In all these instances it had been intense anger directed at me for reasons completely unknown to me. I said "How come ALL the men in my lineage did that to me and why had I chosen to be born into such dysfunction?"

His answer to me was this.....You were born into this earth family to learn "who you are". You are a strong woman and these challenges are only here to help you grow into an even stronger woman. While this makes sense, it is so very hard for me being such a sensitive Soul.

I called my daughter to see if she had had any contact with her brother lately and had she been over to see her new niece. She burst into tears and said no. Her birthday was a couple of weeks ago and it was a special one - the Big 30. There was a big party thrown for her and it was great but neither her brother nor her sister in law had wished her a happy birthday. There was a message on her phone but none of her phone calls has been returned. She is also quite devastated. She too had been very close to her brother but is having a hard time understanding this as well. Seems it is not simply ME, his Mother ,that he is pushing away but also his sister. Feels like he is wanting to distance himself from his entire birth family. So again, I know that I am not alone.

My partner, who has also has had some horrible experiences when it comes to family, is now incredibly angry as he feels that all of this is somehow his fault. Can't get him to understand that my son has been in my life for over thirty years and similar disrespectful experiences have occurred time and time again not just the past three, which is the time that this man has been in my life. When he held my little granddaughter for the first time, his heart burst open and the comment that my son made about having to protect his daughter from us has been like a stab in the heart. Very sad for him as well.

I have decided that for the good of all, I just need to suck it up and hope that all is well with the three of them - mother, father and child - and be there when they choose to ask me into their lives once again.

I want to call.

I want to go and hold my granddaughter but there is a great fear/anxiety within me at what the response will be to that phone call.

But for today, I will try to resonate with all that is good within and without.

Blessings abound - I am just having a hard time seeing clearly where these blessings will take us all.

Namaste