Pushes in the right direction...

A funny thing has happened to me.  Well, perhaps not exactly funny but I do find the humour in it all.

Since moving out to this rural area, I have been finding myself staying home WAY more.  I'm sure it is, in actuality, a blessing as I have been writing on a daily basis which is a first.  Sure I have had times in my life when I have written but to do it in the manner that I now do is great.  I have set times of a couple of hours in the morning before I do anything else and this is all good.  So why oh why am I giving myself such a hard time for not getting out in the world, when all I keep saying is "I want to write."  I'm doing what I want to do so - well you can see the humour in it all.

Someone said to the me the other that I am too hard on myself and I know this to be true.  For most of my life I have found myself asking myself "is what I am doing now the right thing?"  ALWAYS asking the same question regardless of what was going on in my world.

I concern myself with what others may think of me and the way I live my life which is SUCH a complete waste of time.  And so now here I am...writing daily and for the first time ever I feel like this is the PERFECT thing for me to be doing.

Rhetorical question here...........Why are we, as a race, so hard on ourselves?  Doesn't really make any sense at all since life here in 3D is hard enough without us getting on "US" for every single thing.

Swift change of subject here but it will probably wander back to the original thought or perhaps I'm just rambling.  We'll see.   I have actually started to listen to motivational audio programs since deciding to do something different with my life.  The work that I have been doing for the past twenty or so years involves ME motivating and inspiring others so it is nice that I have found something that can motivate ME towards something new and potentially exciting.  This new venture will also weave in magically with what I already do so while there is excitement at something new, there is also a concern that I will let it drop when it gets tough hence, outside motivational assistance required.

It does feel good as I sit here putting it all down on paper (so to speak) and I think a pat on the back is in order for me BY me.  I'm writing daily which serves many purposes in my life, not the least of which is I get to listen to ME talk to me while I impart potential assistance to others.  It's a win/win situation to be sure.  AND I am starting along another path - a big change and one that will most definitely change my life.  While I have been hesitant to do something like this, there is such a strong sense inside me that this is right.  It is forcing me to step out of my comfort zone and expand my life.

When you think about it, I had been hiding, even while out in the world - aka the big city - and where I had lived for years.  Now, while I feel like I am perhaps hiding out here in Ruralville, I now realize that this is what has propelled me to finally be following my passions and in the process find a new success that I hadn't even dreamed of yet.  Perhaps my dream is coming TO ME - to hurry me along.  I know that I also want to have published a couple of books in the next couple of years so this staying home and writing REALLY is the ONLY way that this is going to happen.

So thanks Universe.  I'll be paying more attention in the future.

Here's to pushes in the right direction.  Feels good.