Moving through personal angst

Been feeling a tad anxious the past few days so finding the urge to put down my thoughts here has been somewhat absent.  I do not like to share my angst as I feel that I it shows that I am somehow weak or something.  And like it or not, we do all have these moments...........right?

Have had a beautiful safe place to heal the past month or so and am extremely grateful for this safe harbour.  My friend is returning from her trip to Europe this coming Thursday and while I know that she will not exactly kick me out, she will wish to have her place back to her self once more.  And I do know that this is part of my problem at present.  I need to get off my butt and find my new home.  Been dragging my feet somewhat and that makes me angry with myself.

Interesting that last thought....my angst is directly related to how I feel about ME....who woulda thunk it, eh?

I know that it is time to move forward but there is this lovely cocoon that I have wrapped myself in since leaving my relationship and it feels like having to grow up and get on with my own life.  WOW, I can feel this ache in my chest starting to dissolve with that thought.  For it is indeed true, I am at a point in my life where big changes are once again coming in.

On my other blog, www.intuitiveinspiration.com, I have been writing a great deal about trusting in the process of life and, while the Spirit/higher self within me knows this to be the truth, this little human being that I also AM is struggling with that word trust.

Trusting has always come up for me to take a look at and while it stays with me most of the time, there are times when that little weaker part of me cries out for help.  Help from who or what?  I have assistance through friends but at the end of the day, it is anchoring into that Divine part of me that tends to slide.

It's funny that when others call to me for my brand of healing and insight, there is never an issue with trusting in the Divine energy that flows through me.  BUT, when I need to anchor into it for ME, there is a sense that for some reason it won't be there.  What's with that?

Why do I feel that I am only here to assist others on their individual journeys while thinking that I am somehow not worthy of this same assistance from Source?  Don't worry, this is simply a rhetorical question but feel free to share your thoughts and insights if you so choose.  I certainly do not have all the answers.

Here's something funny....or perhaps not, but I have been waiting for my Doctor to sign a form so that I could get into a program called Bounce Back.  It is a program for people who have gone through an emotional upheaval or mental whack (smile) to help them get back on track.  Of course, I have moved way past how I felt when all this turmoil hit but since someone had suggested this program, I thought "Why not?". If there is someone out there who could offer their brand of assistance, why not take advantage of it all.  Well, she said that I am capable of doing this on my own, as is evidenced from how far I have come to this point and that other people needed this service more than I............I mean come on...I am being proactive in my healing journey and when services are being presented to me, why do I have to defer to someone who feels that since I am better I should let others who are in worse shape take advantage of it all.  I know I am moving forward on my own but thought that this program would give me even more insight.

Now that I just wrote all that, it brings me back to growing up AGAIN and getting out there once more.

Well now, thank you for allowing me to rant.  I feel Way better.

Have an awesome day wherever you are.  Now that I have that out of my system, I plan to do the same.

Til later........