Dinner at Grandma's house

Sheesh, it has been so long since I last posted that I had to go through a huge process to get back in but, here I am.

Wow where to begin.  Been such a change in my life this past year and now I finally find myself in my own little sacred space once more......just me, no one else......and it feels totally liberating.  I don't have any intention of reminding you, my dear readers, of what has transpired this year but suffice to say - it's been a lot.  I am just happy that I have landed here.

Got a cute apartment which I have been putting together for the past month and a half.  Was a tad disconcerting however moving in with only a bed and a chair.....argh.  But for some odd reason I just slowly worked at putting it all together and it looks and FEELS great.  Feels like home and it has been such a long time that that feeling has been present.  Very cozy and at this moment I am waiting on my son, daughter in law and granddaughter to arrive for dinner at Grandma's house.  And this situation is perhaps the greatest wonder out of all of the turmoil of the past.

I never realized how much being a Grandmother would affect me.  Perhaps it is even more poignant as there was a time when discordance was rampant between my son and his wife and ME.  I finally had to let it all go, releasing the angst with a firm belief that with time things would change.  Through all of that time, while having issues with the son and his wife, I was not allowed to see my granddaughter. 

When we had our first get together at a mutual friend's home I was concerned most of all with the reaction of my granddaughter to me.  Would she remember me?  Would she cry?  I hadn't seen her for over 6 months and she was only 18 months on that day.  I was being brave and just letting it all unfold in its own order but inside my stomach was reacting to the unknown.  However, when I first said Hi to her, she tilted her head to one side and smiled.  And with that.....we got to know one another again.  In fact she just started playing with me.  She knew who I was and that was that.

We now see each other at least once a week and it is such fun.

And my daughter in law and I are back in a wonderful place.  In fact we are better than we ever have been as mother in law and daughter in law.  We knew one another prior to her marrying my son and had been very friendly.  It has taken us about 5 years to find our way back to the loving place I had always envisioned would be the situation when my son married.   Success!

I haven't been writing at all the past couple of months as I got settled in.  But now that I have a HOME again, the Muse is now able to capture my attention or at least I am planning on it.

Time to get going on dinner...

Namaste