No Fear Here

Just got a bit of disturbing news from the Doctor which, at any other time in my life would have set me off into a tailspin, has elicited no more extreme reaction other than "O.K. now what can I do", not what someone else can do but what can I do to alleviate the situation and bring me back into balance. I had to calm a friend of mine down as she always looks at the bleakest possible situation FIRST which is so not in my frame of mind.

Turns out I have a slightly enlarged left ventricle which is supposedly due to hypertension which makes perfect sense to ME since my entire life has been full of the aforementioned HYPER tension....ALWAYS.  Being diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder back in the summer put a lot of things in perspective for me with respect to how I react or respond to various situations.

For instance NOW when I am with someone whose energy is setting me off (usually when THEY are anxious or excited or majorly confused) I find I breathe and gently bring to their attention that something is off.  In that moment of awareness they generally calm down and apologize.  I remind them that they have no need to apologize to ME......they should apologize to themselves for allowing outside circumstances to rattle their defenses, bringing them into an unbalanced state.  And THAT, dear friends is how I have managed to moved effortlessly through this latest debaucle. 

The awareness is now ever present allowing me to take charge of those situations I CAN and let go of those situations I have no control over.  And bringing others attention to their own situation gently works wonders for not only them but me and everyone benefits.

Where in the past I would have panicked as my life was full of fear and distrust - that Fear is now a dim flicker in my consciousness.  Do you know how great that feels. 

I was speaking with another friend and mentioned that for the first time in my life I feel settled and content even without a job or a partner.  And those two things were always two of the biggest stressors in my world.  The need for financial security and being WITH someone.  Even when life was going very VERY well with lots of money AND a successful husband, I still had a sense of fear and concern going on.  And now I have a small amount of money with no partner and no desire to partner up any time soon but life feels complete. 

When the fear is gone and you start to learn how to love your Self, in all your perfect imperfections, a settled feeling comes over you.  Not settled in the "Oh she settled" kind of way but balanced inside.  A balance that comes from understanding where you were and where you ARE, all the while  knowing that changes occur continuously in one's life and it becomes all about how we flow with those changes as we merge with our true essence.

And I think I'll leave it at that today.  Go about YOUR day with a renewed sense of Joy knowing that something special is waiting for you to discover - within...

Namaste